The Dark Tower was… horrendous.
This movie upsets me on many levels. In this review, I will evaluate The Dark Tower as both an adaptation of King's fantastic book's and, as an action film.
First off, as an adaptation it fails on nearly every level, anyone who has read the entire series will likely find the schlocky use of the source material insulting. That such a thoughtful, creative, and important work was reduced to such generic trash.
The screenplay is utter tripe, there are interminable cheesy movie lines that have been recycled thousands of times in lazy scripts. These constantly prevented me from having even the slightest modicum of investment in the characters, who are pale imitations of their book counterparts. The movie takes neither the time to develop them nor does the script give them a single interesting thing to say.
The references made to the source material ring hollow and only serve as a painful reminder of how poorly this film measures up and what amazing potential this story had on the silver screen. Nothing about this movie adaptation justifies its existence, the writers and director demonstrate a complete lack of understanding of what made the series great.
Now, looking at this as simply an action film without my book fan bias. The steps it takes to try and introduce the plot elements completely drag this 95-minute movie to a halt. It's simply too large and complex of a plot to deliver adequately in that period of time. Even the shitty condensed version they serve up turns what could have been an at least passable movie about people getting shot by a guy that does cool tricks with his gun into a boring snore fest with a handful of passable action scenes.
As I said, the action scenes aren’t particularly memorable, the budget for this movie clearly not that high and most of the action is stitched together in the editing room. It’s probably the most watchable part of the film but it’s nowhere near good enough to overcome the numerous issues it has.
They should've gone full on action movie if that's what they wanted to make, but instead, they try and keep a foot in both worlds and the result is a boring insulting mess. Not even the charisma of Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey can save this, because neither of them is given anything interesting to do or say. I can't fault actors for not carrying a film if they are not even given a personality to work with.
Mr. Arcel, this movie you've made is one of the most derivative, boring, insulting affronts to a quality IP I’ve ever seen.
1/10 You have forgotten the face of your father.
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